By some estimates, 80 different parts of the brain light up during the course of an orgasmic experience. Biologically-speaking, your body shines when you’re in the throes of passion. But understanding the power and use of arousal extends far beyond sex.
In many lineages, sexual drive and sacral energy is the creative life force. It’s the magnetic prana that helps us foster connections, an energetic well we can draw from to feel inspired, intuitive, and present—even in and especially in our daily lives. As writer and feminist, Audre Lorde wrote, “the erotic is the nurturer of all our deepest knowledge.” Accessing your erotic side opens you up to understanding your deepest cravings, a place where pleasure blooms and your libido is on fire.
In fact, we believe libido is a vital sign in your body’s ecosystem.
Your body’s systems are interconnected, and if your sex drive is dulled, it’s likely a “check engine light” that other areas are out of sync. Just as our largest organ, the skin, gets blemishes and congestion to reveal underlying issues—whether it be off-kilter hormone levels, disrupted microbiome, or macro-level inflammation—a missing libido can tip you off that your body is not in an optimal state. Certainly, external factors contribute to feeling detached from your sensuality; but pandemic aside, there are ways for you to take the power back, supercharge your libido, and reclaim your birthright for pleasure.
THE HORMONES AT PLAY
First, acknowledge the delicate interplay of hormones and their role in your sex drive. It’s worth tracking your cycle and not just once a month, or if you’re trying to become pregnant; your 28-day, four-phase cycle is a personal tool you can study, wherein your hormone levels naturally fluctuate. This has a direct effect on your libido. For example, during the ovulatory phase, your testosterone levels will be peaking and you will therefore be more inclined to seek out sex, whereas the follicular phase will require extended time for foreplay and buildup since the concentrations of your hormones are at their lowest. Beyond the balance of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, there are other hormones that contribute to desire and libido. Without transporting you to full-blown biology class, the adrenal cortex contains dehydroepiandrosterone, or DHEA, a hormone responsible for building and maintaining muscle mass, supporting energy stores, and stoking sexual desire. Then, there are the happy chemicals integral to getting in the mood. They function as part of a feedback loop where the more you engage in these pleasurable activities, the more of these molecules course through your system, making you all the more primed for arousal; these include oxytocin (the hormone for passion, bonding, and generosity), dopamine (the neurotransmitter related to reward, motivation, and elevated mood), and nitric oxide. Nitric oxide is the “miracle molecule,” causing your blood vessels to relax and widen which is known as vasodilation. This promotes circulation and blood flow, which moves energy, Qi, and heat to your sacral organs.
acknowledge the delicate interplay of hormones and their role in your sex drive.
SEDUCE YOURSELF: THE SIX PART PLAN
Holistic steps to address a missing libido and reclaim your pleasure
Recalibrate Your Metabolism
Metabolism is the biochemical process that converts nourishment into energy; it also has a hand in thousands of chemical reactions in the body. All to say, when your metabolism slows down, you feel foggy, bloated, and stagnant—factors that inhibit the body and spirit from operating from a sensual place. When you repair the symptoms of a sluggish metabolism (think: curb cravings, de-bloat, and speed up elimination), you stimulate blood flow and internal movement which increases tumescence. This is the engorgement and swelling of erectile tissue aka our body's ultimate turn-on button.
Nurture Your Adrenals
Stress is one of the worst mood killers and taxes our adrenal glands, which are one-third of the HPA axis, the crossroads connecting the endocrine system, brain, and detox pathways. Stress-reducing activities shouldn’t just be a “nice-to-have” on the agenda; they are critical for supporting your hormones, keeping you at a youthful biological age, and allowing pleasure to enter your energetic field. Beyond lifestyle choices like prioritizing sleep, taking tech breaks, and holding space to let loose, eat plants and adaptogens that regulate the stress response. Some of our favorites include ashwagandha, nettles, Beauty Water Drops—which includes sex-and-mood-centric ionic minerals like zinc, magnesium, and sulfur—and astragalus.
Accessing your erotic side opens you up to understanding your deepest cravings.
Eat to Age Backwards
Premature hormonal aging happens when we eat acidic, drying, or processed foods and lean too heavily on low-quality oils that spike the body’s ratio between omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids. This leads to inflammation, premature perimenopause, and system-wide dryness. Create a hydrated, supple body that is primed for desire by focusing on eating your water and getting enough healthy fats; this will lubricate your body systems and increase cervical mucus production. Focus on a daily regimen of omega-3 fatty acids, eating antioxidant-rich plants, and choosing living foods with at least 85% water content—think romaine, radishes, tomatoes, melons, and cauliflower. Adding enough high quality fats like avocado, EVOO, pumpkin seeds, and Brazil nuts will also serve to internally hydrate and improve cognitive function—and we all know intelligence is sexy.
Regenerate Your Gut Lining
95% of your serotonin stores—the aforementioned happy hormone—reside in your gut, and science is slowly catching up to the profound connection of the brain-gut axis. Research also indicates that low-levels of serotonin dip your sex drive signifcantly, which is why it’s critical to foster a strong and resilient gut microbiome. Beyond a diverse-strained probiotic that staves off pathogens and builds a healthy immune response, consider adding the amino acid, L-glutamine, to your regimen to “heal and seal” your gut lining. Pollution, stress, toxins, and non-organic food can stretch the epithelial lining of your gut, giving way to inflammation and nutritional malabsorption (hello, bloat!). L-glutamine rebuilds the gut by making enterocytes, or the cells that line the GI tract.
Cultivate Joy
Refined sugar is another unsuspected libido-buster, as it lowers testosterone and spikes insulin which can create anxiety and plummet energy. That being said, sugar is often a go-to for people seeking a hit of serotonin and dopamine; the problem is, a high-sugar diet disrupts and alters these neurotransmitters, which is why the sweet stuff is so addictive. If you’re looking for joyful foods that get you off the blood sugar rollercoaster, look to raw cacao. Bitter, medicinal cacao contains high concentrations of PEA, or phenylethylamine—its moniker is the love hormone, since it's a neurotransmitter associated with passionate love and has a similar effect to some stimulants. If you’re on a joy bender, seek foods that increase nitric oxide, like beets, garlic, and pomegranate, as well as sea vegetables and algae, which support the thyroid and bolster DHEA levels.
"Be the Ovum"
This is a download from Desiree Pais and her radiant kundalini course, Benshen. As women, it’s more common to be the giver and nurturer, but an important part of the erotic equation is being receptive to pleasure. Holding space to receive and allowing yourself to be exalted, however unnatural it may seem at first, is your divine right. Start small; ideas could be admiring yourself naked in the mirror, luxuriating in the kitchen, or eating clean, whole foods. Then once you’ve built up the self-love muscle, the world will reflect it all back. Just be ready for it to flood your way.
MORE WAYS TO LIGHT YOUR FIRE
